Experiencing a family breakdown is a lot of things. We expect heartbreak and upset. We expect turmoil and change. But what often surprises us is the sheer determination required when taking a new path as a single mum.
For many, our lives were carefully planned. They may have included things like raising children within our family unit and growing old with our partner. But when these dreams are stripped away, we have no choice but to put on our big-girl pants and play life a different way.
Now, I’m not saying I didn’t go through the heartbreak and the adjustment stress, but once the dust had settled, I realised life had given me an opportunity, a new direction, and I was going to make the very most of it. And I know many other single mums who have done the same and are thriving.
In my experience there is one thing you need on your journey, above everything else, and that is perseverance. If you persevere in everything you do, you will be just fine .. I promise.
WHY PERSEVERANCE IS THE KEY TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE
BENEFIT YOUR CHILDREN
We are role models to our children. They are always watching and learning from us. If you strive to have a better life, they will grow up and do the same. My daughters have watched me go from not being able to afford milk to taking them travelling across the world. They have watched me work, start a business and Uber drive. By watching mum persevere, your children will learn more than you can imagine.
FOSTER BETTER RELATIONSHIPS
If there is one thing I have had to persevere with it is my relationship with my ex-husband. Going from a place of high conflict to place where we could successfully co-parent was a huge accomplishment. It didn’t come easy, but we got there. Working on your relationship with your ex will teach you acceptance, patience and empathy, all of which will add value to future relationships. As a single mother, building a quality support system with people you can have fulfilling relationships with is so important.
BETTER FINANCIAL POSTION
Most of the things we do to improve our lives will result in us being in a better financial position. I see single mums every day who are studying for a new career or starting a new business, usually alongside day jobs. I am in awe of these wonderful mums who are working so hard to better their lives and the lives of their children. They practice perseverance every single day and it will pay-off in many ways, including being in a better financial position.
BE HEATHLIER, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY
If you allow yourself to be knocked-down by the first hurdle you encounter, you’re not going to feel great. If you don’t dust yourself off and get yourself back on track you may feel stressed or depressed. These feeling not only affect us mentally but, long-term, can affect us physically too. Yet, persevering can create feelings of strength, determination and empowerment. By taking on the world head-on you will create a better mindset which will energise you inside and out.
BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE
If there is one thing we all strive for it is a better quality of life. This can mean different things for different people. For some it is health, for others, happiness. For me it is balance and contentment. I was determined to find a way of life that gave me these things and I did everything within my power to make it happen. I now work from home within my own hours, doing a job that I love and genuinely helping people every day. The reward of perseverance is the quality of life that YOU aspire to.
Written by Lucy Good
Founder of Beanstalk Single Mums.
Lucy works with hundreds of single mothers through her business and popular FB group, the Single Mum Vine. She sits at the centre of the think-tank of modern-day single motherhood and is a sought-after social commentator on single parent issues. As well as having her own blog and podcast series, she has appeared several times on national television, speaks regularly on national and local radio and writes articles for online and print parenting, news, lifestyle and business communities.