When it comes to single mums, there are specific limiting beliefs that I see women struggle with time and again. Messages we assume to be true, and on which we base our worth, the treatment we accept, the relationships we aspire to, the jobs we take, the businesses we grow, and the level of wellbeing that we believe we are deserving of.
Limiting beliefs such as:
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“I need to work limited hours / earn low because my children need me at home. Especially now that they are from a broken home (single mum guilt).”
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“It is OK if I go into debt/ overspend on my children, because I’m a single mum.”
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“I will be lonely for the rest of my life because no good man wants a woman with children.”
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“I deserve to struggle, doing this alone because I got myself into this mess.”
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“I need to fight for maximum time with my children because I am the better parent.”
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“My professional shortcomings are because I am a single mum.”
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“I need a man.”
What is a limiting belief?
Every human battles limiting beliefs — ideas that you consciously or unconsciously accept as true, and in believing it as such, it does become true.
A classic example of a liming belief is, “I’ve always been out of shape. That is just how I am.” If you accept that as true, especially if that message is reinforced by your friends, family, doctors and media messages, you will never get in shape. Only once you recognise that yes, you can get into shape, no matter how long it has been since you broke a sweat, that your habits can change for the better.
Holding on to the past?
The key to changing your life is to change your behaviour. Before you can change your behaviour, you have to change your mindset, beliefs.
Before you can change your mindset, you have to be aware of your current mindset. You may have an idea about what you believe, and what your values are. But I guarantee that your subconscious impacts your thoughts and life.
Belief change => habit change => life change
How do you change this?
Repetition over time is the only way to change a habit, after all, this is how you got the habit in the first place. Write down your limiting beliefs on one piece of paper and on another piece of paper write the exact opposite. Every morning write out these exact opposite, more positive things 50 times in a notepad, say them as you write them. “I am earning a good income, in a job which is flexible with hours” … “I am comfortable I my own skin and am thriving as a single parent” etc.
Do this for 1 month, everyday, writing it and saying it and at first it might seem silly and like its not the truth but over time you will start to think its more plausible, you become more emotionally involved and positive and the energy shifts towards those things, as does the mindset. This is where the habits change because the idea of who you are and what your capable of changes. As this happens your energy shifts and as like attracts like, your conditions start to change to be more of this new belief system.
The only difference between your situation and the next single mums situation is their attitude and perception. Your attitude creates you reality.
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