Locking eyes across a crowded room might make for a lovely song lyric, but when it comes to romantic potential, it seems that nothing these days rivals technology.
It’s more possible to find someone now than at probably any other time in history. You don’t have to stand in a bar and wait for the right one to come along. And it seems that people looking for a sweetheart on the internet are more likely to have full-time employment and higher education, and to be seeking a long-term partner. People are busy these days and it makes sense that dating online is something that fits in with the busyness’ of life.
Online dating is one real way to go about finding a potential person —you just have to learn to work the system. And I am going to help you do this, so it doesn’t become a time waste, a disappointment or a frustrating experience.
*** Set Dealbreakers ~ If there is something you truly can’t tolerate – smoking, drinking or doesn’t want kids or is way out of your location then don’t waste time talking to them. It doesn’t matter how nice or good looking they are … it’s a waste of time if you don’t like people who drink or smoke or you may never see because they lie to far away. Let go of them and make room for someone that doesn’t have those obstacles.
*** Cut Them Off If They Are Not Responding To You ~ If you’re interested in the person your messaging you will want to message them and wat to hear back from them. So, if they are not responding back in a timely manner or giving more each time they are responding then move on. Anyone who really wants to get to know you will make it obvious. You won’t second guess that.
*** Look For Someone Who Makes It Convenient For You ~ Us single parents are busy juggling the many hats we have so you wat someone who is going to make the process easier, not more difficult. Someone who doesn’t get frustrated that you only have two fortnights off from your kids a week to meet in person or doesn’t mind having a phone conversation after your kids are in bed at 8.30pm. And when you do get to the stage of meeting in person, you want someone that goes out of their way to show you they want to compliment your life and have a genuine knowledge of you. For example, they pick a café near your work or area you live so you don’t have to travel to them.
*** Pay For The Site/App That Has The Population You Want To Date ~ Let’s face it, free apps can be fun but they are also available to anyone and everyone. If you’re looking for someone who is serious about dating, doesn’t want to waste their time with just anyone then you’re more likely to find them on a paid app. After all, only serious people put their money where their mouth is.
*** Try Not To Linger ~ Staying in the safe space of the virtual world too long can be a sure fire way to lose the momentum of any potential partner. Too much chatting can lead to a “friend zone” and also takes away from having something to say when actually meeting. My stages are fairly simple.
- Match on the App
- Exchange chat for a few days here and there and if the banter and conversation is good and you like the photos of them keep the momentum.
- Transition to exchanging phone numbers (It’s easy to block people these days so don’t even worry about exchanging your number)
- Text back and forth a few times over a day and agree to a few above the pats “selfie swaps”. This allows you to see them clearer than some of the apps allow and creates the spark only a physical element allows. Keep it above board and conservative.
- After a few days arrange a phone call. Make notes of what you want to ask so your prepared.
- If that goes well, up the ante and suggest a Facetime video next time.
- If all that goes well then make a point to take a time to meet in person.
*** The initial face to face ~ I would suggest that when the initial face to face happens it is not at a sit-down dinner or a lunch because there is only TALKING to do I these places and you’ve already done enough talking. Do something that is an activity. Even a simple walk on the beach with a coffee or juice. If you both have dogs, meet with the dogs at a dog park. Meet at the local markets (near you). Somewhere different, somewhere that doesn’t mean long conversations but enjoyment of thigs happening around you to have experiences with them with.
The steps here are it really easy for single parents with limited time to physically met face to face. It keeps the momentum, keeps engagement and the interest with one another. I would normally do this over a month and then meet in person. No more than a month though. The goal at the end of the day is to find the one, not the many and the only way to really do this is to interact in person but the steps prior allow a step closer each time in a way that’s enjoyable, fun and memorable.