After my divorce, I was devastated. I felt like nobody would ever love me again or that I had failed both myself and my partner in some way. Over time, I was able to realise that the relationship had simply ended and that it was not necessarily through any fault of my own.
During the process of recovering from the emotional damage of the divorce, I discovered some coping mechanisms that I wished I had known about at the beginning of the process.
- Do Not Blame Yourself: A relationship requires that both people put in work and effort. Often, relationships fail due to a lack of effort from both parties involved, or from the simple progression of time which can cause people to grow apart. Be realistic about your contributions to the divorce, but do not beat yourself up.
- Do Not Hide In Your House: Allow yourself some time to recover your emotional balance but do not hide out at home. Getting out and socialising with friends and family can really help you to get out of your funk and to get over the sadness of the divorce.
- Let Your Lawyer Handle Things: If at all possible, avoid and contact with your former partner and let your lawyer handle all of the contact that is needed to sort out the divorce process. It is not going to be healthy for you to be reminded of all of the problems that your partner and you share and you will likely not be able to have productive contact with your ex at this stage.
- Let Yourself Have Fun: Often, people going through a divorce feel guilty if they are offered the chance to go have fun or to get away from the divorce process for a day or a weekend. This kind of emotional release is very necessary for healing and you should not avoid chances to have fun when they are presented to you.
A divorce can be a greatly upsetting experience and it can reveal the bad side of you and your partner. I myself felt destroyed after mine. Do not let yourself start believing that the divorce defines you and your future. Follow my list of tips and tricks and you will not have to suffer as I did along the way to healing from your divorce!
About The Contributor:
My name’s Michelle Gilfoyle and I am a divorced mom of one. When I have free time I love to browse the internet and share my thoughts!