There are many different ways to deal with the transition from a 2 parent household to being a single parent supporting your child/children through what can be a very difficult time in their life.
I was one of 3 children in a single parent household from a very early age and was also a single parent of my 2 oldest children for 5 years when they were under 6. I understand that every situation is different, with varied causes or factors which lead to being a single parent (this can be doing the parenting totally alone or co-parenting with your child/children’s mother/father)
What I have learned on my journey is that although you want to be strong and brave for your children, you are not being a ‘bad’ parent if you show your emotions and talk about your feelings with your children with age appropriate dialogue. It is beneficial to them if they see that you are feeling sad, frustrated, lonely etc because then although they not be able to put their feelings into words for you they do know that they are not alone in feeling anything other than happiness.
Not only is this beneficial for them but for you too, emotions are there to be felt, they are a part of the healing/adjustment process, it is when we sit in that emotional state for too long that it can become unhealthy and if you feel this way it is really beneficial to talk to someone whether that be a counsellor, a doctor, a friend or someone who has travelled the single parent road.
What I do know from my personal experience is that children learn their behaviours from us and what we model for them. They form their opinions about themselves and create their self-identity up until the age of about 8, so we need to try to be mindful of what we say to them and how we as parents behave towards them and around them. Being emotionally aware is a life skill and the younger we learn it the better.
If you can foster open communication with your children, then it is likely that they will come to you when they ‘need’ to talk instead of holding it in.I have found using Essential oils to be a great tool to assist in all manner of emotional situations, they can be used to relax and calm, to aid in sleep, to uplift mood, to assist in moments of stress and anxiety (new job, new school, new home).
There are a few basic oils for these kinds of circumstances, but it is also good to practice emotional awareness and check in with how you are feeling and why, often you can use an oil or blend to suit your specific needs and your needs can change over time. The best way to use oils for emotional support is by smelling them, this can be achieved by diffusing, using topically on diffuser jewellery or applying them diluted topically. Using them as a part of your daily habits/routine is a great way to have ongoing support from them.
I also highly recommend learning some ways to deal with stress which is often felt daily as a single parent, some simple tools can be relaxation techniques and basic guided meditation.
About The Contributor: Noela Matthews (Dip.Med.Hol.Couns.(IVC).
dōTERRA Wellness Advocate
Meditation Teacher & Holistic Counsellor
You can find Noela though her business: bmindful on the links below
